Copyright © 2022 Lee Spirit
I was a little bummed out when it was coming up to Christmas break, and the weatherman said we’re headed for a deep freeze that is to last the entire week between Christmas and New Years! I love to spend the majority of my time off doing some fun activity in the outdoors surrounded by beautiful nature. If I’m prepared for the cold, I can still do that. However, driving conditions and the frozen-hands factor usually prevent me from doing so. Bitter, cold temperatures aren’t really a bad thing though! All it means is it’s time to go inwards, and make self love and self care a priority.
It’s a perfect time for quieting down and reflecting on the past year, as we embark upon a new year. This will help prepare us for the challenges that may lie ahead of us. I know what you’re thinking! You’ve already had enough challenges to last a lifetime in the past couple years alone! While we’re all done with challenges, it’s inevitable that with whatever goodness lies ahead, there will also be a few obstacles. Instead of seeing them as difficulties, may we embrace them as opportunities for learning and growth!
It may sound cliche, but if we take this necessary down-time during the deep-freeze days of winter, and make self love and self care our focus, we will have renewed energy, enthusiasm, and creativity heading into the new year. Like the water in my photo evaporating into the air, we can envision stress leaving our bodies like steam rising. We can rise into our own strength and power!
The Difference Between Self-Love and Self-Care
Self-Love
Loving yourself means you have a deep, unconditional love for who you are in every aspect of your life – even the dark side. This means accepting who you are – the good and the not so good qualities – as well as what you do. It’s the feelings you have about yourself.
You’ve probably heard the expression often, “Love yourself more” when you don’t have the love you desire. I’ve often pondered this expression myself, and have thought, “Well, I do love myself and who I am!” So why do I feel that I don’t have the love, or the circle of care I desire then?
Perhaps the answer is the fact that while I love the good parts of my being, maybe I don’t quite accept every aspect, and every not-so good aspect of my being. I need to recognize and acknowledge that maybe for a long time I have only loved the part of me that’s good and kind. Coming into a greater awareness and acceptance of my weaknesses, and embracing those is key to my unconditional love of self.
Self-Care
Self-care is a bit different. It means doing certain things that feel good to you to make sure you’re staying healthy and well in mind-body-spirit. This may include reading an uplifting book, taking an epsom salt bath, having a halotherapy session in a Salt Cave (as I’ve done this holiday!), yoga, meditation, or laughing with a good friend.
When we practice self-care, we feel uplifted, lighter, joyful, and our lives flow more with ease. This can lead to greater feelings of self-love. When we feel good about what we are doing for wellness, we are better able to feel good about who we are being.
As you can see, self-care is more of a “doing”, whereas self-love is more a “being” – Being in acceptance with all of who you are.
Coming Into Presence
One way to love ourselves unconditionally, and to care for ourselves more, is to find more present-moment awareness. We don’t go out searching for presence, rather we go inside of ourselves to be with what is – right here and right now.
Slowing Down
The first step you can take to gain more presence is to slow down. This whole week has been quite frosty and bitterly cold. So while it dampens my spirits not getting out to the mountains as much, I see it as an opportunity to both embrace the cold in different ways, and to slow down and do more yoga and meditation for inner peace. This is a great way to bring more self love and self care into your life.
Changing Up Your Routines
I normally run twice a week, bike once a week, and do a boxing HIIT workout once a week. These are all activities I enjoy, but they are the least likely to bring me into a state of equanimity – Calm, grounded, centred, and balanced. So I decided to cut those activities out during this “cold-time”, while ramping up my walking in nature, yoga, and meditation. I have gone skating and skiing instead of running, biking, and boxing. Sometimes you need to change things up a bit and take a rest from your regular activities. Not to mention, being out in nature is so much more presence-inducing than a run or bike around the neighbourhood or at the gym.
Be More Present By Practising Yoga and Meditation
Presence can be felt through a regular, consistent practice of meditation and yoga. Click here to try my Meditation on Present Moment Awareness. Presence isn’t found in a single meditation, but a regular practice, such as 20 minutes per day, or 20 minutes, twice per day. Even if you can only spare 10 minutes, start with that, and work your way up. It can be done seated, or laying down. As long as you don’t fall asleep, and keep an open, and aware mind, you can find your inner calm!
Meditation Music
It can help to find some good meditation music that gets you into a state of Shuniya, or neutrality. I find nature sounds really peaceful, along with pan drums, crystal bowls, binaural beats, and so on. Try my Mindful Nature Meditation Music for some inner calm and peace!
Why Presence Is Good For Self Love and Self Care
Present-moment awareness is good for many reasons, including that it helps you come to an acceptance of all aspects of your being, and it helps you develop better self-care rituals. That’s because when you’re in a neutral space, you have access to more wisdom and intuition. This can help you make better choices and decisions for your life. You feel healthier and better, and this allows you to feel more love for your whole self, and do things that support your wellbeing.
Improving Your Self Love Improves Your Relations With Others
Again, it may sound cliche to say that loving yourself more brings more love back to you, but it’s true. Why does presence and self-love work to attract better relationships with others? As Michael Brown suggests in his book, The Presence Process : a journey into present moment awareness, we are initially attracted to people who reflect our unintegrated issues with our past.
Have you heard that everything you initially love about someone turns out to be what you eventually hate about them? That’s because we are attracted to what we are familiar with – the wounds of our past – and we think it’s the perfect person for us. Then, after getting to know that person better, you come to realize these things are what annoy you most. The honeymoon effect only lasts so long, before we realize that the relationship is not realistic and they are not what you want.
The truth is, that person is reflecting what we need to integrate. Those old negative emotions brought about in our upbringing need to come to the surface so we can feel them – heal, or integrate them properly. Rather, we tend to reject that person because we can’t come to terms with the pain of our past. So we run away.
Becoming More Authentic
By really feeling what we feel from our past, our relationships begin to transform into something better. The relationship becomes more authentic, and we love ourselves and them for who they are rather than the unpleasantries of the past that they reflect. Having this more authentic relationship can be a wonderful thing if it blossoms, but it can also be a wonderful thing to discover you were only meant to be friends in the first place.
Not only does it improve relationships, but others are more attracted to our calmer, brighter, lighter spirit.
We Don’t Mind Being Alone As Much
Solitude probably doesn’t sound all that appealing, especially during a pandemic like this one when we’re already feeling the effects of over-isolation. However, consider that the more suffering we have, the more we seek out ways to feel better. For instance, hanging out with some friends at a party may take away the pain of loneliness. This is only temporary though. Once we return to our homes, we feel alone again. When we come into present-moment awareness, we take better care of ourselves, and we love ourselves unconditionally. So we no longer seek out others to distract us. We enjoy our own solitude and peace.
Self Love and Self Care Makes Space For Something New
When we become present, love ourselves, and take care of ourselves better, there’s a clearing and cleansing that takes place. What better time for this to happen than at the end of a year, or the beginning of a new one. We not only clear a space in our minds and hearts, but physically, we begin to purge our spaces by getting rid of things we no longer need, or giving them away. It’s a good sign that we have released old baggage when we start clearing our spaces. The more space we create in mind-body-spirit, the happier and more emotionally healthy we are. It shows an ability to let go, and allows something new to come in.
Being Kinder and More Compassionate
Naturally when we take on a consistent self-care practice, and choose to accept all our faults and love ourselves completely, we become gentle, kind, and compassionate towards ourselves and others. We start talking to ourselves as we would to our own wounded child. Forgiveness becomes natural. We hold ourselves in our own care, knowing that we deserve forgiveness. We are gentler with others because they are mirrors of ourselves, and they deserve forgiveness too.
Deeper Connections With Nature
When we have kindness, compassion, and empathy for others, we also have a deeper connection with Mother Nature, my personal fave! We realize our oneness with nature and all its cycles. The more we connect with ourselves, the more we appreciate in each moment, each leaf, each blade of grass, and each tree. If we can appreciate each moment, we can appreciate ourselves and others better. Not to mention, we can handle more of the difficulties in the world a little more easily.
As always, there are many more ways that coming into presence makes us more self-loving and self-caring. It works the other way too! The more self love and self care we have, the more present we become. All create an ideal condition of inner joy, peace, vitality, and bliss. I hope you’ve found these ideas, and the products I’ve mentioned, beneficial. Go forward into this new year boldly, with love in your heart, and a genuine care for yourself and others. Many blessings!
Lee Spirit is an avid outdoors adventurer with a love for nature, photography, health & fitness, wellness, and spirituality. She helps those who suffer from anxiety & negative thinking to become healthier in mind-body-spirit. Her own personal journey has led her to the study and practice of mindfulness, health, wellness, yoga, spirituality, sound healing, meditation, and personal development for over 20 years. Get mindfulness, meditation, and personal development tips in her Free Natural Mind Healing Report.