Copyright © 2022 Lee Spirit
Do you ever get on a bit of a “high” because something good has happened, or you have done something amazing? It makes you feel alive, energized, creative, confident, sexy, flowing, and full of life? Then a short time later, you crash and burn as if you’ve just come off a giant sugar buzz? Sometimes this happens when the shadows of self-doubt creep in. Here, at Sundance Canyon, I was hanging out in the shadows – Kind of symbolic of how I was feeling in that I noticed some negative self-talk happening that day. Overcoming self-doubt and being kind to ourselves is so important to our wellbeing, so let’s take a look at why this happens and what we can do about it.
Overcoming Self-Doubt By Realizing It’s There
It’s easy to go through life completely unaware of the fact that we are unsettled, unhappy, or unfulfilled. We get caught up in the trappings of the mind, and our incessant thought. Figuring things out and over-analyzing things seems a practical thing to do, when really this is one major cause of our own suffering.
Rather than going about your life in this slump, the first step in overcoming self-doubt is to just be aware. Be aware that your confidence may be a little shaken, or that you are over-critical of yourself. Realize that how you speak to yourself is so important to how your day will play out.
If you wake up and look in the mirror and say, “I look terrible today”, your whole day will play out like this because you have it in your mind already that you look terrible, thus you feel terrible, and the whole day is ruined.
Whereas, if you speak nicely to yourself you might say, “I’m a little short on sleep, and that’s okay. I’m still beautiful, I love myself, and it’s going to be a great day!” When you keep your thoughts positive, your day will surely turn out alright, or even better than you expected.
So if we can step into the witness seat of awareness and realize that the thoughts in our minds are controlling us, we can start overcoming our self-doubt. Simply realizing that what’s in the mind is not real – That we are not our thoughts, we are the conscious awareness behind our thoughts – will liberate us from our own self-torture.
Click Here To Break Free From the Habit of Negative Self-Talk
Knowing Who You Really Are
If we don’t realize that most of the thoughts swirling in our monkey-minds are unhelpful and even untrue, but just illusions we create mentally, then it’s likely we don’t know who we really are. You may think you know who you are, but do you really? Thinking negative thoughts about ourselves is not who we really are. Who we were programmed to be in our upbringing is not who we really are. Our job title is not who we really are, nor are our achievements or possessions.
Who you really are is the truth of your soul. What brings you naturally into a state of joy, bliss, and awareness? When you die, what do you take with you? Not your possessions, your house, your loved ones, your friends, your job, your car, your status. None of that goes with you, so what is left but pure consciousness and love? That’s it!
Again, being aware of who you really are – What floats your boat and lights you up? What is your passion? Be curious about that! We are certainly not our anger, regrets, fears, shame, guilt, anxiety, or negative thoughts! If we empty ourselves of these constructs of the mind, that is where we’ll find inner peace.
Creating a Space of Pure Consciousness and Awareness
Overcoming self-doubt happens way more quickly and smoothly when we can bring ourselves into a mind-space of awe, wonder, and joy. For me, this happens almost instantly whenever I’m surrounded by beautiful, tall Evergreen trees in the forest. I look up at how tall they are, wonder how long they’ve been there, steady through all the seasons and elements. I simply observe, smell their fresh scent, and go, “Wow!”
Similarly, my friend’s daughter was saying how when she mountain bikes, she comes into this space where she can just let go of all thought. She has to concentrate on what she’s doing so she doesn’t take a tumble over the handlebars. Having to concentrate fully on something, giving it your complete attention is meditative in that it clears our minds of the chatter. Anything we do that can shut off the commentary going on in our minds gets us into spaciousness. In this neutral space, we are able to be present in the moment we are in. This allows us to clear out our self-doubt and be more kind to ourselves. Without thought, we are conscious and aware!
Discovering a Sense of “Wow”
This comes from a course from Eckhart Tolle on breaking the habit of negative thinking and self-talk. I loved his bit on looking into a baby’s or a dog’s eyes. Babies and dogs are beyond thought, he explains. You look into their eyes and they are not thinking anything. They don’t think! They gaze back at you in pure consciousness, love, and light. We stop for a moment and again, we say, “Wow!” For a moment, our thoughts cease too, and we forget our self-doubt and self-animosity.
Any way that you can get into this state of “Wow!” where the chatter in your mind is halted is a good way to find your awareness and lightness of being. Nature is my go-to for this, as is yoga and meditation. This clears away your self-doubt, negative self-talk, anxiety, and brings you into the heart space of compassion for yourself and others. Basically, you transcend thinking, and realize it isn’t who you really are.
Overcoming Self-Doubt By Connecting Deeper
So you’ve found an activity you like to do that makes your incessant thought fall away. Terrific! But now what? You keep doing that same activity over and over because it feels good to let go of thought! Lately, it’s been all about yoga and meditation activities for me, as well as immersing myself in some activity in nature like cross-country skiing. It all sounds good, right?
Well, maybe not so much! I’ve been reading Michael Brown’s book, Alchemy of the Heart, and he explains how any activity we do to “numb” our pain and forget our sorrows, including any number of spiritual practices such as yoga and meditation are temporary fixes. Without going through the work of integrating our true feelings, we will keep experiencing the same grief over and over.
This means not to get caught up in the “doings” of yoga or meditation as if that will relieve your suffering permanently. Rather, if we develop a deeper connection to what we are doing, then we can come face to face with our suffering. Then when the challenges come, we feel we aren’t as affected by them because we’ve integrated our past wounds, and gotten to the root cause of the suffering.
Connecting Deeper in Yoga Poses
If I use yoga poses as an example, in Western society, it’s a bit of a physical movement. The instructor may explain what muscles, tissues, or organs this pose stimulates. It’s good to have this knowledge of what the pose does, but if we focus solely on that, then we’re not really connecting deeper to such things as why we feel tension in a certain area of our body. Perhaps it’s the thoughts in our minds that create the physical suffering in our bodies. Getting in tune and connected with that so we can integrate it might relieve more of our suffering than doing a particular pose that stretches the hamstrings for example.
Losing the Ego
One thing we have to be careful of when overcoming self-doubt is that we don’t identify with constructs of the mind and ego, such as, “I am young”, or “I am old”. “I am an executive”, or “I am a chef”. We are only as old as we feel, as the saying goes, and age is only a number we’ve made up. We are human beings, not human doings, so what you do for a living is not who you really are. You are conscious awareness. That’s all that’s left when we die.
Another great thing I liked about Eckhart Tolle’s discussion on our thoughts is that we can’t see them. Even if we cut open the brain, we can’t see our thoughts or our memories there. We are nothing but pure consciousness, and present moment awareness, so we must stop identifying with our thoughts, and more with our being.
The ego likes to live in negativity. The ego loves suffering. It craves it, and likes to blame things on other people. But when we lose the ego, we stop the chatter in our mind about what happened in this situation that upset us, and we come into acceptance of what is, without fighting it.
Overcoming Self-Doubt With Breath and Body Awareness
Going back to yoga and meditation, these are practices that will help you come into a space of Shunyia, a neutral space of openness, and receptivity. When you become aware of your breathing, you come into this space. Also, when you practice yoga poses that have been practiced for thousands of years, or try chanting along with it, you come into this space of breath and body awareness. This will help you lose your self-doubt, because the thoughts fall away, and you awaken to the beauty of your soul.
I sincerely hope this helps you be more kind and compassionate to yourself and brings you into a greater state of awareness, which is where we want to be!
Lee Spirit is an avid outdoors adventurer with a love for nature, photography, health & fitness, wellness, and spirituality. She helps those who suffer from anxiety & negative thinking to become healthier in mind-body-spirit. Her own personal journey has led her to the study and practice of mindfulness, health, wellness, yoga, spirituality, sound healing, meditation, and personal development for over 20 years. Get mindfulness, meditation, and personal development tips in her Free Natural Mind Healing Report.