Copyright © 2022 Lee Spirit
I’ve been noticing on all my outings lately the lovely green colour of the waters, melting from icy winter into the freshness of Spring. The greens are reminding me of the colour associated with the heart chakra. What a great reminder to keep our hearts open as we blossom into new beginnings, and the creative energy of the new season. When our heart chakra is closed or blocked, we often tend to fall into habits and tendencies that don’t serve us well. Attachment and addiction may become prevalent if we don’t realize we’re shut off, or stuck, and why. Allow me to shed some light on what is behind this so you can release these and live more fully.
What Is Attachment and Addiction?
When you read those words “attachment and addiction”, the first things that may come to mind are child abuse, and drugs and alcohol. While this may be true, there are many reasons we may become attached or addicted to something or someone. Jean Kilbourne describes it as being derived from “a hope that something ‘out there’ can instantly fill up the emptiness inside”.
What Does Attachment and Addiction Feel Like?
Basically, attachment and addiction are the outcomes of never really feeling satisfied, or feeling like something is always missing. The attachment to a person may play out like always grasping for someone’s attention because if they give it to you, you feel loved. An addiction may play out like binge eating unhealthy snacks because it fills the time and makes you feel less bored, or alone. It may appear like a neediness – Always needing someone or something else to feel okay. It’s like trying to get somewhere, but something’s holding you back, so you never get there.
Habits, Tendencies, and Getting Our Fix
The attachment and addiction that results from these unmet needs are really just habits and tendencies that we develop over time that temporarily satisfy our deeper needs and desires. You may be a sex addict because it temporarily makes you feel loved, so you keep doing it to get that satisfaction. Then you find that sex isn’t love, but you’ll take it as a temporary fix. When you don’t get your fix, you turn into an addict, or an attached addict. You need something or someone in order to feel better.
Noticing Attachment and Addiction
Sometimes we go through life, developing habits and tendencies that don’t serve us, but we are completely unaware of them. This is because we are not present enough to notice the unhealthy thing we are doing to ourselves. Alternately, we may also be aware of our attachments and addictions, but not know how to let go of them.
It’s so important to develop enough conscious awareness of the present moment that we can see our attachments and addictions clearly. This is the first step in being able to release them. When we are present we live from the open heart, and this allows us to see. When we are attached and addicted, we live with a closed heart, and an inability to see. What we need to see is that we are looking outside of ourselves for something to make us feel better. Know that everything we need is already within us.
What To Do After Noticing Your Behaviour
If you notice when you’re about to engage in some compulsive behaviour, take a moment of space by stepping away from the habit. Take a deep breath or three, or maybe even take a full day of reflection on what is behind your need. When you pause long enough, addictions will fall away.
You can also do something else that feels even better than your addiction to replace it with something healthier. For instance, maybe you spend some time learning to cook a new, healthy meal. Maybe calling a friend and having a good giggle will feel better than engaging in bad habits. For me, reading a great book filled with spiritual wisdom makes me feel more present and whole. I’m learning something new and healthy that I can use in my daily life rather than succumbing to mindless social media scrolls.
Doing Something Healthier, and Being Healthier
Other than doing things to replace your attachments and addictions, it’s important to be the person you really are. It’s natural for us all to have desires, but if we develop our awareness around when those desires for love, self-esteem, money, sex, and so on turn into attachment and addiction, we can pause, notice, and learn that our addictions are not our true selves.
Rather, we allow ourselves to come home to our hearts. Heart is home. We don’t need shopping, junk food, or Facebook likes to feel whole. These are all just temporary fixes that aren’t going to do the trick. What does the trick is loving ourselves more by being the love that we are. We do that by being “here now, in this” (Michael Brown), rather than seeking for something outside of ourselves. The addiction blocks us from the light of our own souls.
Attachment and addiction doesn’t make us feel better in the end. Not only are we obsessed, attached, and addicted, but we beat ourselves up after indulging in our guilty pleasures, like downing that whole tub of ice cream. Then we feel nothing but self-animosity and self-loathing. But just stopping for a moment and finding the light of our souls will help us stay content within ourselves, rather than clinging too tightly to something on the outside.
Inner Light of Your Soul: How To Exude Radiance
Ask Yourself…and Speak To Yourself Kindly
If we can just stop and take a moment to breathe, and be, in the present moment, then we are not longing for something. In that moment of stillness, ask yourself what is behind this addictive, attached behaviour? This may be just enough to stop the habit, or it may not be. But each time we stop, we reprogram our minds, until finally the habit does fall away.
You can go further by scanning your body as to what is happening in the physical body when I reach for this craving? Is your heart thumping with anticipation? If so, what if you just calm the thumping with your own love. Place your hand over your heart and feel the warmth of your own love until the thumping subsides. Realize you don’t need this attachment and addiction, because you already have everything you need.
Speak to yourself as you would to a child in need of love. Give yourself kindness, patience, understanding. Don’t judge, criticize, or blame yourself.
How It Feels To Let Go of Attachment and Addiction
Letting go can be really tough, but once you learn to take this pause, and be in the present moment, surrendering to what is becomes easier and easier. You start to become more spontaneous rather than planning everything out to get the attention or approval you seek. Going with the flow becomes more desirable than clinging. There is a new grace, and ease, and flow to your life and relationships.
Getting unstuck from our attachments and addictions is so important for allowing us to live in the truth of our being and be who we really are. It allows us to live from the heart, and the light of our soul. You will find much relief in releasing these tendencies that hold you back.
Lee Spirit is an avid outdoors adventurer with a love for nature, photography, health & fitness, wellness, and spirituality. She helps those who suffer from anxiety & negative thinking to become healthier in mind-body-spirit. Her own personal journey has led her to the study and practice of mindfulness, health, wellness, yoga, spirituality, sound healing, meditation, and personal development for over 20 years. Get mindfulness, meditation, and personal development tips in her Free Natural Mind Healing Report.