Copyright © 2022 Lee Spirit 

When you look at this photo of a snowy mountain scene, you may automatically assume it’s winter, right? When we see snow, we think winter! The truth is, it’s not yet winter, but the snowfall arrives early in the mountains before it arrives in the city. This is an example of some of the harmless assumptions we make. But there are assumptions we make that are more harmful. These might show up in our daily lives and relationships. For example, we assume we know what someone else is thinking, or why they did or didn’t do something. Learning how to stop making assumptions and start living in truth is an important skill to develop. Here’s why…

The Danger of Not Knowing How To Stop Making Assumptions

The problem with assumptions is that we believe something to be true when it may not be true at all. This is dangerous! It’s a fabrication of our minds – A story we create that we tell ourselves is true. If it isn’t true, our self-esteem may falter, we may feel unloved, ignored, or we may push other people away with our false beliefs, accusations, and blame. This can also lead to depression and anxiety. No one wants that! So that’s why it’s important to learn how to stop making assumptions and start living in truth. But how?

Why We Trap Ourselves in Making Assumptions

Don’t beat yourself up if you often fall into the trap of making assumptions! Our brains are wired to follow patterns, habits, and tendencies. If we always assume things, it becomes a brain pattern, which frees up our brain space for other things. If you assume one thing, the brain falls into the habit of assuming other things.

Another reason we trap ourselves and don’t know how to stop making assumptions is because we are programmed from early childhood to do so by our parents, teachers, and friends, who also make incorrect assumptions. When you say something to a friend, for example, they may assume you meant something by it that bothers them. So they react by giving you the cold shoulder. Meanwhile, you are oblivious to why they are behaving that way because you didn’t mean what they thought you meant! We then do the same thing in all of our relationships because this is what we learned to do growing up.

How To Stop Making Assumptions By Being More Aware

We can break the cycle of assumption-making first by being more aware of the fact that we are doing this. Instead of assuming something, start asking questions for clarification. You can only bring light to the subject by being more inquisitive. You can’t know the truth of something and assume you know exactly what everyone else is thinking and feeling all the time. Yes there are intuitive empaths among us, but no one ever really knows for sure what’s going on inside someone else’s mind. A simple, “What did you mean by that?” or “Did you mean…?” can do wonders for a relationship’s harmony and flow. Awareness is always the first step to positive change.

How To Stop Making Assumptions By Surrendering

A lot of assumptions we make happen in the first place because we like to be in control of things. It gives us a false sense of security. You want this person to pay attention to you and they are not. So in order to feel safe, you assume they are just busy right now or going through some grief. Those assumptions may prove to be true, but maybe the truth is that they don’t really like you – A truth you may not want to hear.

By surrendering our control, letting go of our assumptions about what they are feeling, and just being okay with not knowing why, you embrace the unknown. It relieves pressure and stress for both parties. Tell yourself, “I release control, and surrender to the flow”…That is where magic can happen!

If You’re Still Stuck in a Rut…

Just notice the areas of your life where you feel like you’re not getting anywhere, and you’re making all kinds of assumptions. Bring some self-care to the equation by learning to let go of your need to know. Stay in the present moment of awareness by bringing attention to your breathing. Notice how you are breathing. Is it short and shallow, or long and deep?

Where is there tightness and pain in your body? Breathe into those areas and remember that pain in the body is often how you feel pain in your soul from past traumas and programming. The more present we are, the less we busy our minds with thoughts and assumptions that aren’t true. We are basking more in the truth of our souls. This liberates us to change our habits and tendencies into something more positive.

Allow Yourself Some Vulnerability

If you really want to learn how to stop making assumptions, you have to be open to making yourself a little vulnerable. When we aren’t open to this, we assume things rather than asking. Allow people to know the real you, even if you’re scared to show people the truth of who you really are. You want to feel noticed and loved, right? Then speak your truth, be vulnerable, and if something isn’t right, you have the power to shift directions.

It can certainly be tricky to get out of the habit of making assumptions and into the habit of letting go of control, trusting, and asking the right questions. Remember that we are the light, and we can share that light with others by sprinkling our love all around, rather than tearing people down and burning them by assuming we know what’s going on in their heart.

If you need more guidance on this subject, it may help to read about Assertiveness Training on How To Fulfill Your Needs.

Lee Spirit is an avid outdoors adventurer with a love for nature, photography, health & fitness, wellness, and spirituality. She helps those who suffer from anxiety & negative thinking to become healthier in mind-body-spirit. Her own personal journey has led her to the  study and practice of mindfulness, health, wellness, yoga, spirituality, sound healing, meditation, and personal development for over 20 years. Get mindfulness, meditation, and personal development tips in her Free Natural Mind Healing Report.