Copyright © 2021 Lee Spirit
It’s coming up to the change of the seasons again, and Fall Equinox almost upon us. I love this time of year, with the leaves changing colours from summer green to Autumn yellows, oranges, and reds. The bugs disappear as the temperature changes from the sweltering heat of summer to Fall chill in the air. When the seasons change, it’s a good time to reflect on our lives. Are we where we want to be? Did we reach our goals previously set? Are there things we can let go of around the same time that the leaves fall off the trees? One thing is certain, and that’s that many of us are harbouring resentments towards others, the world, and ourselves. These are challenging times no doubt, and that makes letting go of resentment even more important.
The more we hold onto anger and resentful feelings, the more stress and negative health impacts we create for ourselves. We tend to be more reactive, and project our inner struggles onto others by taking things out on them.
Luckily there is so much to learn when we spend time out in nature. The waterfall lets go, spilling over the cliffs. Later, it may change form and turn to ice. The leaves change colour, dry up, and fall to the ground rather than clinging onto the tree for dear life when they know it’s time to change. Letting go of resentment doesn’t mean we jump off a cliff like the waterfall, or fall and decay like the leaves on a tree. It’s simply a recognition that things need to change, and an acceptance of moving with the flow of life, rather than against it.
What Is Resentment?
Resentment is really a feeling of bitterness that we often hold onto when we feel like someone has done something to us that we didn’t like. Perhaps it’s something they didn’t do that we expected them to do. It’s a feeling that we’ve been treated unfairly. Maybe we have been ignored, abandoned, or rejected for no good reason.
During these times of Covid-19, this may be running rampant in your life. There is discord and disagreements between family members over what’s the right thing to do. The political scene and world have gone haywire. There are protests in the streets, and in front of hospitals. So many reasons to feel angry and resentful! We need activists to stand up for rights and beliefs, and to speak up for what we believe in. But it can get out of hand, violent, and unhealthy. When it turns into violence, hatred, and results in unnecessary deaths, that is when things have gone too far. That’s when it’s time to reign in our attitudes and find inner peace before lashing out on others.
Reigning In Your Anger and Letting Go of Resentment
I read a beautiful article last night by Thich Nhat Hanh on the five ways of putting an end to anger. Basically it explains that to ease your anger, you must focus on the kind parts of others, not the negative. Through meditation you can achieve this wisdom.
Steps To Relieving Anger and Resentment
- “When someone’s bodily actions are not kind but his words are kind, we should not pay attention to his unkind bodily actions, but only be attentive to his kind words”.
- “It is the same, my friends, with someone whose words are not kind but whose bodily actions are kind. Do not pay attention to that person’s words. Only be attentive to his bodily actions”.
- “My friends, when you see someone whose bodily actions and words are not kind, but where there is still a little kindness in her heart, do not pay attention to her actions and words, but to the little kindness that is in her heart”.
- “When you see someone whose words and bodily actions are not kind, and in whose heart there is nothing that can be called kindness, give rise to this thought: ‘Someone whose words and bodily actions are not kind and in whose heart is nothing that can be called kindness, is someone who is undergoing great suffering. Unless he meets a good spiritual friend, there will be no chance for him to transform and go to realms of happiness.’ Thinking like this, you will be able to open your heart with love and compassion toward that person. You will be able to put an end to your anger and help that person”.
- “When you see someone whose bodily actions are kind, whose words are kind, and whose mind is also kind, give your attention to all his kindness of body, speech, and mind, and do not allow anger or jealousy to overwhelm you. If you do not know how to live happily with someone who is as fresh as that, you cannot be called someone who has wisdom”.
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Focusing on the Good
What I like about this is the focus on what’s good in others. It can make a huge difference in your own happiness levels if you practice loving kindness. Realizing that at some level, the ones you are angry towards are undergoing some deeper suffering, you have the wisdom to practice compassion and make both your lives easier.
How Nature Can Help With Letting Go of Resentment
Nature’s Spaciousness
Without nature, I don’t know where I’d be today. It stabilizes, supports, calms, and comforts me. Its spaciousness allows me to take long, deep breaths with every tree’s exhale. If I’m wound up inside over something that has affected me during the week, the hills and mountains I climb allow me to unwind that resentment in a healthy way. It’s important to remember not to suppress your feelings. The idea is not to push anger down and away, but to feel through it so that you can move past it. “The way out is through”.
Being Alone in Nature
I find nature is especially effective when you go out alone and spend time in a forest, or by a river, lake, or ocean. This allows you to connect with nature and with how you are really feeling. When you spend time socializing with others in nature that, too, can have great health benefits. But you get caught up in conversations to the point that you don’t even notice the beauty around you. You are temporarily shutting off your thoughts to engage in conversation. Nature allows you to feel and release those repetitive thoughts, instead of arguing with someone in your own mind over and over again.
Harmony With Nature
Nature allows us to feel in harmony with all life. When we witness the changing of the seasons, or the wildlife on the trails, we become One with them, and realize we are a part of the bigger picture. The waterfalls and rivers wash away all that stuck debris in our minds until we can see clearly, feel deeply, and heal our past hurts, anger, and resentment.
Kneel Down and Give Your Pain To the Earth
One practice I’ve learned in kundalini yoga is to give our pain to the earth. Literally kneeling down on Mother Earth, and with our hands touching the earth, visualize giving your grief, anger, and resentment to her. She will take care of them for us, and this can give us new strength. Just like Mother Earth, we will carry on no matter the season.
Nature’s Abundant Source of Healing
In my solo hikes, I’ve really noticed and felt the healing presence and warmth of the trees, the wildlife, and the unseen spirits all around. I never feel alone in nature, knowing that so much life and abundance surrounds me always. The forest absorbs my pain. You feel it, you give it to the earth, and suddenly your inner dialogue quiets and you become still. I can only be grateful for the healing powers of nature.
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Create Some Art or Write in a Journal in Nature
I’m not much of an artist, but I’ve found it a useful exercise to create some artwork whenever I’m going through some intense emotions of whatever kind. It can bring some clarity to how you feel deep down, and it can light a magical spark of new creativity in your life. You might find new ways of approaching situations or doing things. It’s inexpensive to get some pencil crayons, pastels, and paper and start drawing and colouring what you feel.
Even the simple process of colouring has been shown to provide great stress relief for many. It’s a great way for letting go of resentments. You can start by Clicking Here To Download my Mindful Nature Nut Affirmations Colouring Pages! This can help you with maintaining a positive mindset as you go through life’s challenges.
Writing in a journal out in nature is also very stress relieving and can help with letting go of resentment. When you do this, especially while sitting under your favourite tree, or next to a rushing creek in the woods, you have a safe place to write what you feel. No one will judge or criticize you, and you won’t be projecting your pain onto someone else.
Recognize Your Triggers and Ghosts
Examples of Triggers From the Past
Oftentimes we are triggered by certain people, what or how they say something, and how that makes you feel. Common triggers may be feeling ignored, abandoned, or rejected. So whenever someone doesn’t respond to you, steps out of your life for no apparent reason, or turns down your invitations, you may feel “triggered”. You may take on the victim mentality, or feel that someone has hurt your feelings when really they were just over-busy that day!
When we recognize the triggers, we are bringing to the surface something from our pasts that needs to surface so that we can properly integrate those feelings and heal our anger and resentment. Being out in nature is a great way to allow this resurfacing of past wounds. You can feel through them and let them go before projecting them onto others.
Being Present In Nature With Our Triggers
Nature allows us to be present first with the beauty that surrounds us – The rushing creek, the softness of the moss on the forest floor, the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, the brisk chill in the air. Once we are connected to nature, we can turn our focus inward and be present with our triggers and ghosts. We are not trying to get rid of these, just noticing where they live in our physical bodies. Are you clenching your teeth? Maybe a trigger brings up chest tightness, a belly ache, or a pain in the neck.
The Vastness of Nature Supports Us
Next, allow nature’s vastness and healing energies to support you. Notice how breathing in that scent of the pine needles brings ease and lightness to your tight chest. Perhaps gather up some pine needles or pine cones and visualize giving your troubles to the earth. She has the capacity to absorb all your pain.
If your anger and resentment is particularly strong, perhaps do a more rigorous workout in nature to release this negative energy. Sometimes even a primal scream in a mountainous valley that echoes will help with letting go of resentment.
Understanding the Reason For Triggers & Ghosts
Once you’ve let go, ask yourself why you are angry and resentful. What is the feeling underneath the anger? Fear of losing someone or not feeling loved or heard? Ask your natural surroundings for assistance, and answers will usually surface in the quiet spaciousness of the wild.
Letting Go of Resentments Is Easier In Nature
This will give you some ideas on how letting go of resentment can happen more quickly and effectively by spending time in nature. Remember that if you don’t have easy access to nature’s wonders, you can explore your own neighbourhood or backyard garden and get the same benefits. If you can’t go outside at all, bring plants indoors, spend time looking at nature through windows, and use your imagination to create a sensation of being in nature. Run your hands under a tap and pretend it’s a river. This will help you let go by moving through your emotions.
Lee Spirit is an avid outdoors adventurer with a love for nature, photography, health & fitness, wellness, and spirituality. She helps those who suffer from anxiety & negative thinking to become healthier in mind-body-spirit. Her own personal journey has led her to the study and practice of mindfulness, health, wellness, yoga, spirituality, sound healing, meditation, and personal development for over 20 years. Get mindfulness, meditation, and personal development tips in her Free Natural Mind Healing Report.