Copyright © 2021 Lee Spirit
This is Bow Lake, along the Icefields Parkway in Alberta, Canada, where I hiked during our recent heat-wave. It’s often a bright blue-green colour – Calm, glistening, and reflective, like a mirror. Our thoughts are a reflection of our minds, and how we feel about ourselves deep-down inside. Oftentimes, there is a lot of negative self-talk going on in there!
If we pay attention to our inner dialogue long enough, two things can happen: We listen, and say, “You’re right!”, and allow the thoughts to control us; Alternatively, we might just break free from this negative self-talk habit. By becoming more self-aware and introspective, we see ourselves from a bird’s eye view, and can shift our thinking and habits to something more positive. Obviously, this is the more desirable option!
What Is Negative Self-Talk?
Have you ever said things to yourself like, “I’m such an idiot!” Or how about, “No body likes me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll go eat worms?” Maybe it’s something like, “I’m a terrible person”? “I can’t do it”, or “I’m not good enough”? Sadly, we beat ourselves up like this constantly, and we allow these voices in our heads to take control of our lives because we start believing what we tell ourselves. This can make us feel more stressed out, miserable, frustrated, helpless, or anxious. Sometimes, as is often the case for myself, we end up creating “problems” that don’t really exist! Luckily, we can shift our thought patterns to break this habit!
Recognizing Our Negative Self-Talk
Before we dive into how to break the negative self-talk habit, it’s good to know that we often don’t even realize we’re talking in an unkind way to ourselves! We’re all caught up in a jumbled mess of negative thinking without even noticing it! Here are few ways to identify and realize our negative self-talk:
- Blaming yourself for everything, even when it’s not your fault, or no one is to blame.
- Focusing on the negatives rather than the positives in everything.
- Expecting the worst to happen.
Once you’ve realized you’re a bit of a “Negative Nelly”, it’s time to shift those habits!
The Power of Positive Affirmations
One way to shift our thought patterns is through positive affirmations. These are brief statements you can repeat to yourself that help defeat that negative self-talk! If we repeat these positive statements often, we start to believe them, which can result in making positive changes. An example is, “I love and approve of myself”.
I have a new Adult Mindful Nature Colouring Book that you can download here immediately to get started with positive thinking! It’s also great for teaching your children mindfulness:
Shift Your Thoughts Right Away With These Positive Affirmations
Rephrasing Your Words
Positive affirmations works great to shift your negative self-talk, and another way to do it is by rephrasing your negative words into more positive ones. For example, instead of saying, “No one loves me”, you can say, “I love myself, I am loveable, I am kind and compassionate towards myself and others, and I am attracting abundance to myself”. Instead of saying, “I can’t afford it”, you can say, “How can I afford it?” Rather than saying, “I’m a failure”, you can say, “I made a mistake, and here’s what I can do differently going forward”.
It may help to write these statements down in columns. One side for your negative self-talk, and another side for your positive self-talk. When you can see it in writing, it becomes a lot more clear what needs to change.
Mindfulness Meditation For Positive Mindset
Another way to change your negative self-talk is to practice mindfulness meditation. It’s a way to calm the thoughts of the mind, and bring balance and harmony to the hemispheres of the brain.
I’ve really enjoyed delivering my free MindfulNatureNut Guided Meditations on my YouTube channel. I invite you to check that out, and Subscribe to the channel to receive a free weekly meditation! I use my own videos taken while being out in nature, where I find the most inner peace. Just by delivering these meditations, I’ve noticed my own negative self-talk becoming less and less, as I work to help others relieve theirs. Yes, it happens to all of us! 🙂
Studies show that mindfulness meditation, even in brief instances, can alleviate stress, calm the mind, enhance compassion, ease relationship behaviours, and help overcome addictions. So it’s really worth giving it a try! There are many ways to meditate! Read more about it here: Meditation in Nature: Benefits, Types, & How To Begin.
T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak
Perhaps you’ve heard this expression before, or seen in it your Facebook feed. It’s a great little acronym to remember when dealing with your negative self-talk. It might be helpful to ask yourself these questions before you speak to yourself, and also before you speak to others:
- T. Is it True?
- H. Is it Helpful?
- I. Is it Inspiring?
- N. Is it Necessary?
- K. Is it Kind?
If the answer is “No” to one or more of these questions, then just take note of this, and maybe use those positive affirmations and meditations to get your thoughts back on a healthy track.
What Is Really Behind Your Negative Self-Talk?
Time to get out the microscope or magnifying glass to really examine what feelings or emotions lie beneath the surface of your negative self-talk. Are you hard on yourself because you’re feeling insecure? Do you put yourself down frequently because you lack self-confidence? Are you always focusing on the negatives because you suffer from depression or anxiety? Look for the root cause, and once you’ve determined that, just notice and allow your feelings about it. Just becoming the witness of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions can help to dissipate them.
Read All About It
I used to be quite negative in my thinking and every now and then, or often, it creeps back in. My way of dealing with this has always been to pick up a book that uplifts my spirits, and sets my mind on a healthier path. I even decided after a lifetime of purchasing books that I don’t want anything on my shelf anymore that isn’t related to spirituality, mindfulness, or personal development. These books are one major way to keep me uplifted. It doesn’t have to be about negative self-talk. Any topic or genre that is written in a way that speaks to my soul and brings me joy and peace is worth the read.
I’ll mention one of my faves here, The Untethered Soul, by Michael A. Singer. I’ve probably read this book 3 or 4 times! He also has a new podcast out, and the first one happens to be: “Ceasing to be Caught in the Waters of the Mind”, which you can listen to here if you’re interested!
If reading or podcasts aren’t your thing, and you can’t get out of your negative self-talk rut, consider seeking some outside help from a trusted friend, professional, or health-care provider if necessary. Negative self-talk can be minor, but it can also start interfering with your life and relationships, so make sure you get the help you need.
Lee Spirit is an avid outdoors adventurer with a love for nature, photography, health & fitness, wellness, and spirituality. She helps those who suffer from anxiety & negative thinking to become healthier in mind-body-spirit. Her own personal journey has led her to the study and practice of mindfulness, health, wellness, yoga, spirituality, sound healing, meditation, and personal development for over 20 years. Start reducing your negative self-talk with her Free Natural Mind Healing Report.