Why Am I Irritable? : How To Stay Calm & Collected

A photo of a wide open pristine snowy landscape with a Evergreens and Pocaterra Mountain in the background, a place to ask yourself, "Why am I so irritable?" and the answers will come.
Skiing in Kananaskis, Alberta, Canada
Copyright © 2023 Lee Spirit

Do you ever have those days or weeks where it seems like there’s a Full Moon, or a planet in Retrograde, and you just feel so irritated by everyone and everything in your path? Well, it was one of those weeks for me. I don’t know how many times I asked myself, “Why am I irritable?” It’s a great question to explore so that you can get to the root of what’s underneath that hint of irritation, frustration, or anger. It’s not a place we want to stay in for very long if we can help it!

Exploring the Question, “Why am I so Irritable?”

How Well and How Much Sleep Am I Getting?

There are many different reasons we might be having an off week. The first thing I look at is how much sleep I’ve been getting. I’ve often mentioned how my stompy neighbours upstairs have wrecked havoc on my mood and sleep patterns. While I’ve found an okay solution that allows me to mostly get a decent sleep, I still find myself struggling with the night owls above. This makes me irritable and grouchy, and then it kind of rubs off on those around me too. Poor sleep, or inadequate sleep, can really disrupt one’s mood or day. So if you’re not getting enough, pay attention to why that might be, and look for solutions to resolve it.

Better Sleep Tips

Yoga and Meditation

One thing that has helped me sleep is a regular practice of yoga and meditation. This doesn’t have to take a lot of time. It can mean putting your feet up the wall before bed for a few minutes. Also, shutting down your technology early, closing your eyes, and taking some deep breaths in, and longer breaths out, can help prepare you for sleep. It doesn’t have to be a long, difficult, or elaborate process!

Diet and Exercise

You may want to look at your diet – What and when are you eating and drinking liquids during your day or evening? The later you eat and drink, the harder it is to sleep. How much caffeine have you had, and what is the state of your health and fitness? Reducing your caffeine intake by early afternoon should help you have a better sleep. Regular exercise also helps!

Blackout Curtains

I have also found some great black-out curtains so the lights from the street don’t shine in, and often wear sound cancelling headphones if the night owls are keeping me up and irritated! Investing in some of these curtains can really tell your system that it’s night-time and will allow you to sleep better and longer.

Time of Eating and Pre-Bedtime Routines

There are many ways you can improve your sleep, including eating earlier in the evening so you’re not trying to digest something at bedtime. Also, a practice of Yoga Nidra before bed can be helpful too. I’ve been taking a wonderful class on that. Laying on the floor under a blanket and listening to the instructor’s chimes, chants, and voice as we go through visualizations and the sensations in our body can do wonders for our sleep.

Do I Feel Lonely and Isolated?

Sometimes when we ask ourselves, “Why am I irritable?”, we discover that it’s because deep down, we are lonely and isolated. It may be time to reconnect to your friends, family, and community if you haven’t gone out much for a while. The pandemic had many of us isolated and alone. Also, as we age, we tend to lose friendships and connections we once had. If there’s someone who lights you up who you haven’t reached out to for a while, maybe think of giving them a call, sending a message, or getting together for a walk or coffee.

Another great way to connect with others is by joining a Meetup group of people who love doing what you love to do. I’ve participated in many of these events myself and met some wonderful acquaintances as well as new friends. Connecting with like-minded people can really reduce feelings of isolation.

Is There Too Much Stress in My Life?

Naturally, when we’re stressed out, we can feel extra irritable and snap at family, colleagues, or friends. When the demands on us are too much, we can’t take anymore stimulation, increased workload, or extra noise. Again, adequate rest and sleep, as well as regular exercise, a healthy diet, good connections, and yoga and meditation can help.

Oh, but I haven’t mentioned nature therapy yet as a number one way to reduce stress! Just look at my photo of skiing in Kananaskis! What I like about this is the pristine, open area of beautiful snow, and also the peaceful mountain scenery. Nature will provide a very sacred place to absorb the healing energies of Mother Earth! Immerse yourselves in the Evergreens, and clear your mind, making it like a vast open sky or blanket of snow. There’s no better way to reduce stress!

Could There Be a Medical Reason Why You’re Feeling Irritable?

Sometimes it’s more than just the daily annoyances and build up of tiredness that can cause our irritability. There may be an underlying health issue that we’re unaware of. Make sure you consult with your primary health care practitioner if you have any concerns.

Some underlying health issues might be Seasonal Affective Disorder, pain or disease, depression, side-effects of medications, PMS, peri-menopause, or menopause, etc. Oh, and don’t forget aging can make us grouchy too. When we can’t do the things we once could, it can really put a dent in our quality of life. Look for ways to deal with all of life’s changes, expected, or unexpected. Meditation, yoga, and reading uplifting spiritual words really helps me.

Click Here To Develop Patience, Kindness, and Tolerance

After You Figure Out the Answer To “Why Am I Irritable?”…

What next? Knowing why you’re irritable is a good step to finding a solution to ease those feelings.

Practice Gratitude

My first recommendation is always to look for the good, and practice gratitude…

When you wake up in the morning, don’t groan that you have to get up for another work day. Give yourself a few minutes to wake up and think of a few things you’re grateful for. A good place to start is being grateful that you woke up! Each day is a precious gift you don’t want to waste!

“I’m grateful that the sun is shining”…”I’m grateful that I have my evenings and weekends free to do whatever I want”…”I’m grateful for my fur friend who gives me unconditional love and licks!”…”I’m grateful for Spring flowers that are soon to blossom”…There are so many things to be grateful for, and the more we focus on that, the less power these irritated feelings will have over us.

Set Your Intentions and Remember Positive Affirmations

My favourite class that I took this winter to keep me in a healthy mindset was a class on “Sankalpa” – the Sanskrit word for “Intentions”. For one week, we would set an intention for our week, and keep it in mind whenever our thoughts, feelings, or emotions turned irritable, frustrated, or negative.

The Sankalpa is always in the present-tense and always positive. Maybe you set an intention such as, “I invite love in”…See this Sankalpa written across your mind whenever you feel irritable. Then see and feel it in each part of your being…I found this really shifted my mental state from irritable to something more positive.

Don’t Be an Over-Achiever or Try to be Everything to Everyone

It’s natural to want to do things to the best of our ability, but sometimes we go overboard with that and it only causes more irritability. If we try to reach for goals that are manageable, we have a better chance of staying within our own boundaries and limits. If we reach for too much, we may get burnt out in our efforts to be and do everything. Taking baby steps to our goals is definitely the way to go!

Vibe Higher Through Self-Care

Think about what lights you up and brings you joy and feelings of bliss. This is what you need to do more of! Raising our vibrations through self-care means taking adequate rest when you recognize that your body is tired. Honour the messages from your body. The body will give you signals that you are exhausted and need to slow down a little.

Ways to self-care include things like taking yourself out for a walk in nature to absorb its healing benefits. Maybe you allow yourself an ice-cream treat, take a bubble bath, go on a road-trip, or buy yourself some flowers to brighten your space! This can also mean connecting with good friends, going out for live music, or dancing! Whatever brings you joy, do that!

When we vibe higher, everyone around us feels that, and irritable feelings fall away…

Practice Altruism

Some of us feel the best when we set our own needs aside and focus more on the welfare of others, or causes that are important to us. Maybe you want to adopt or foster a pet or child who needs a good home. It could be that you live by the ocean and want to protect its waters and marine-life from toxic algae blooms. Perhaps all it would take to reduce your irritability is simply helping a parent, or being kind to a stranger.

Remember that doing something for others is not for the purpose of making ourselves feel better or inflating our own egos. Rather, in the process of caring about the welfare of another, it reduces our own self-focus – often the cause of our suffering.

Staying Calm & Collected

Why am I irritable? Remember to ask yourself this whenever you notice it because the answers are the key to your letting go of these negative thoughts and feelings. It’s so important to do your best to stay calm and collected. For example, try being patient when the driver in front of you is driving too slowly.

I was on my way to work this week and tend to speed up quite a bit in order to get to work on time. But I saw a colleague driving the speed limit in the slow lane. I zoomed past them in the fast lane a few lanes over, but then noticed that we both arrived to work at the same time! So my irritability over the slow traffic really did me no good in the end! Practice being calm and collected in these and other trying situations, and you will be on your way to a more mindful, healthy life!


Lee Spirit is an avid outdoors adventurer with a love for nature, photography, health & fitness, wellness, and spirituality. She helps those who suffer from anxiety & negative thinking to become healthier in mind-body-spirit. Her own personal journey has led her to the  study and practice of mindfulness, health, wellness, yoga, spirituality, sound healing, meditation, and personal development for over 20 years. Get mindfulness, meditation, and personal development tips in her Free Natural Mind Healing Report.

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